What is Compassionate Inquiry ?
Allowing your self to speak from your heart with some who can listen with compassion and understand you helps you connect with a a deeper sense of yourself, to feelings, experiences and memories that may have been hidden and enables your true-self to be known and mirrored in a new and empathetic way.
For all of us ,
vulnerability is both the most feared and the most
rewarding experience - but only by being vulnerable
can we really come to know ourselves or others in a
way that is not just cognitive 'knowing'. Though at
first emotional-intuitive knowing can be confusing,
clarity emerges as you come to know its pathways and
feel more real, grounded, connected , loving and
Who we are today has been highly influenced by the experiences we have had in the past, particularly in childhood, because the way we are treated and the messages we have internalized, at a time of innocence, lay the foundations for what we feel about ourselves.
Although these experiences may no longer be part of our conscious awareness in everyday life, nevertheless they they effect the choices we make and the way we react or respond in the present.
Many people have grown up with little sense of being seen for who they are - but rather have had to adapt and comply to the expectations of parents and others. However this can lead to feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, anger, sadness or shame about being unknown, unheard or misunderstood. This can manifest as a sense of "joyless striving" or depression, constant anxiety that seems inexplicable, or a sense of shame about ones feelings and needs.
For some, there may have been physical / sexual, and / or emotional abuse - or other 'secrets' - in the family that have not been allowed to be told.
Philosopher /Poet David Whyte
says that "vulnerability is not a weakness, a
passing indisposition, or something we can arrange
to do without, vulnerability is not a choice,
vulnerability is the underlying, ever present and
abiding under-current of our natural state. To run
from vulnerability is to run from the essence of our
nature, the attempt to be invulnerable is the vain
attempt to become something we are not and most
especially, to close off our understanding of the
grief of others. More seriously, in refusing our
vulnerability we refuse the help needed at every
turn of our existence and immobilize the essential,
tidal and conversational foundations of our
Dr. Brene Brown who has researched vulnerability also says that " vulnerability is absolutely essential to whole hearted living". Vulnerability is not weakness, it is the ultimate courage. The thing that gets in the way of valuing vulnerability is shame. Shame is the experience that cripples us and make us want to run and avoid our truth.
You might like to
watch these you-tube videos for your interest:
I can't promise that the process will be pain-free , old fears as well as needs, loves and longings are bound to emerge, but if you allow your heart to open, the increased connection to yourself and others is worth it.
Linde Rose at:
are those, that are not frightened of grief:
dropping deep into the sorrow, they find therein a
necessary elixir to the numbness. When they
encounter one another, when they press their
foreheads against the bark of a centuries-old
tree…their eyes well with tears that fall easily
to the ground. The soil needs this water. Grief is
but a gate, and our tears a kind of key opening a
place of wonder that’s been locked away. Suddenly
we notice a sustaining resonance between the
drumming heart within our chest and the pulse
rising from the ground.”
Fear of Closeness (Alaine De Botton)
Mature Complaining (Alaine De Botton)
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